My journey to Kawayan Camp was not at all dramatic. I was able to save from my tutorial classes prior to it, and have received additional financial provision and moral support from my family and local church.
But despite the seemingly smooth sailing ride, I was struggling on the inside. I entered the camp with a heavy heart for the injustices, poverty, and brokenness in the society which have been my outcry for several years already. I questioned God. Unconsciously, these disappointments turned out to be directed towards God and it was only during KC that I have been made aware of it.
God patiently dealt with the condition of my heart for the entire 28 days in the camp. My questions were hard but He lovingly and graciously answered me.
Through Kawayan Camp, the Lord widened my understanding and has granted me new lens to see the world. He has given me a new heart to know what He truly feels and reminded me that He’s still holding the world in His hands despite everything that is happening. I have now understood that all of these are the results of sin and these are hard to battle against. The Lord has used KC to prompt me once again of my role in His redemption plan for the world. With renewed perspectives, I have now a better outlook of the world. This world was not made out of loneliness but out from an outflow of love. And this love which He has freely showered to His creation compels me to share it without reservation.
Truly, God makes all things beautiful in His time. It has long been my desire to join Kawayan Camp but it took me three years to have finally attended this one-month training. Maybe if I insisted joining KC 2015, I would not have fully understood everything. I acknowledge that God has allowed me to wander first, get hurt by what’s happening in the world, and even be bitter to God just because I don’t understand Him. If I have not experienced all these things before KC, I may not have appreciated the lessons this much and have not given it so much value.
Now as a KC grad, I know that I will all the more be salted with fire living as Christ’s disciple. I pray that I will liveout a testimony in such a way that when people see me, they will come to know the Lord and His saving grace. It is my utmost desire to be with Him, to make Him known until the Lord Jesus Christ calls me home.
I still have questions which this life offers no answer but I am confident that God will give me peace and security as I sail on life’s seas again.
(Jackie Mae is one of region’s six delegates to KC 2018 . She is a former active student-leader and a graduate from University of Southeastern Philippines-Obrero campus. She now serves as a GT volunteer.)